How to ask for computer help from a expert

When you have a computer, you sooner or later are going to run into trouble. You could call a helpdesk, but when it cost money, or the warranty of your computer is over, there is a cheaper alternative solution. Ask the local, probably well known, computer expert.

To help you, how to get quick and good help on a regular basis, you could follow this simple list.

1) Make sure you have coffee (or beer) at home. One of the basic things a real expert need is coffee. Without coffee the engine doesn't run. No coffee, no help. You should make sure however, when you ask for help for later at the evening, you have plenty of beer. After 6 o'clock coffee is simple not enough. Beer is the only thing that can help you get your computer back to working.

2) Make sure you have a load of small snacks. Most experts don't eat vegetables. And since most meals are prepared in a way that you need to eat some vegetables, a real expert is probably hungry again at 9 o'clock. Some snacks are a very good way to help your expert to relax. If you take good care of your expert, he will probably come back a next time. And nowadays a good expert is hard to find, if you got one, don't loose him!

3) Never doubt the expert. He is the expert. He knows what he is doing. You probably were not paying attention, and he clicked through 10 menus before you can blink with your eyes. Never ask what he is doing, if it is a hard thing (longer than 3 minutes) to solve. He probably couldn't explain it, in understandable language, even if he wanted it.

4) Start with some chit chat. You probably don't talk to your expert, only when you need him. When you approach him, start talking about something different. Never ever, fire questions from the beginning, this will make you not look good. After at least a hard 5 minutes, you could very carefully ask if he knows anything about computers. You know he does, but ask it anyway. It will make you look dumb, and he will feel smarter, that way you gain some respect.

5) Say many times that he "doesn't have to do it for free". The more you say that he "doesn't have to do it for free", the more he is thinking about his new gadgets he can buy after he helped you, the more he wants to help you. Making him help you from his own good is like hitting the jackpot in the lottery. Now he will try to fix everything, as good and as fast as he can. In the end give him 5 bucks.

awfully recognizable and a good laugh after all that tech stuff

hahahaha

This is hilarious!
Because it's so true!

I work for tech support for an internet service provider in the US of A. This couldn't be more appropriate for our costumers to read haha/

Cheers